Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Recipe For a Skit Disaster

 
Done right, with plenty of rehearsal time, commitment and effort, your drama presentations can add some delicious spice and scriptural flavor to your event or church service!

Done wrong, however, they can be a stomach-churning, distasteful experience.
There are many tips, advice, helps, etc., on this site, to support your performance of the scripts you find here. But this page is devoted to providing you with a recipe for making crummy skits. After all, there are already so many crummy skits being done, surely someone would like a proven recipe for making one.

So, print out this page, put it in your recipe book, and follow it's directions to the letter the next time you want to pull off a truly terrible skit performance!

Ingredients:
Two heaping cups of Procrastination
A half-pound of Sloppiness
16 oz. of Unpreparedness
The slightest pinch of Rehearsal
At least a half-dozen Excuses

Directions:
Put off looking for a suitable skit script until the VERY LAST MINUTE. Procrastination is an extremely important ingredient in the Skit Disaster dish. After all, skits are just last-minute, unimportant, toss-together in no-time little things, right? So don't think ahead, wait until a few days before the event to try to prepare. If ordering a soundtrack, wait til a few days so that the Post Office can't get it to you on time. If it does arrive the day before you need it, procrastination has done it's work, since your actors will have very little time to get used to working with it.

Once you have found a script at the last minute, no matter how great it is, remember: you can turn it into a Skit Disaster with no trouble, by tossing in the Sloppiness ingredient. Sloppiness is key in making a good script turn out bad. So apply it liberally to all aspects! The dialog, do it sloppy where no-one can understand it! The staging, do it sloppy and just wander around the stage aimlessly! The sound effects and music, just slop them in wherever and at any level! The props, just grab some stuff and sloppily throw them in a box, maybe they'll work!

Unpreparedness is a wonderful aspect of the Skit Disaster recipe. It really won't turn out as bad as it could unless you add this in liberal quantities. Even a little of this spells trouble for a drama presentation, so use a lot to make sure it goes horribly wrong! Don't give your scripts to your actors until too late for them to memorize them, just have them walk around the stage pretending to act while really reading the script! Nothing screams "Unpreparedness" like that. Unpreparedness will ensure that the message of the script goes unheard. All the audience's attention will be focused on the bad performances, and the idea in the script will be totally missed. See how easy it is?

Next, use the tiniest pinch of "Rehearsal." Just a pinch, a teeny-tiny grain, the less the better, really. Too much of this will make your Skit Disaster turn out too well done.

Finally, offhandedly toss all the elements together and serve lukewarm with a side garnish of "Excuses." You really can't have a Skit Disaster without plenty of Excuses to wash down the bitter aftertaste with. Here are some ideas:

"I didn't find the site until it was too late."
"I was too busy to do a good job."
"Nobody really expects too much from skits, anyway."
"I'm really no good at this, I'm only doing it till they can find someone else."
"We're not professionals. Besides, the Lord can't use people who are too well-prepared; everyone knows that study and planning quenches the Spirit!"

These are just a few examples. If you are determined to serve up a Skit Disaster, you will more than likely have some Excuses of your own to garnish it up with.

This dish is quite filling. If done according to this proven recipe, your audience will not want another serving for quite a while. If they still do, then increase the quantity of ingredients next time, while decreasing the amount of Rehearsal you put into it. It may be that they have never seen skits or drama done any other way, in which case, you will may called upon to serve more at various times.

Good luck in making these scripts into a Skit Disaster!