"Faults Prophecy"copyight 2002 by Fred Passmore
(Adapted from our national one-minute radio program, "You Gotta Laugh!")
Listen to a Windows Media file of this program for inspiration!
(Play the Skit Bits music open as the players come onto the stage and take their positions.)
(If you are using the Supplemental Skit Trax CD, begin Track #34, the standard skitbit open music. This CD is available on the site, on the script page for this skit.)
(Two guys are standing at a table packing various items in cardboard boxes. One of them, Bill, after working a few moments, stretches and shakes his hands as if they are tired.)
Bill: "I feel like taking a break. Think I'll see what my horoscope says for today..."
(He picks up a newspaper and sits down to read it.)
Jerry: "You mean horriblescope! Bill, you shouldn't be looking to some superstition to know your future! You should trust the Lord and read His Word!
Bill: "Now, let's not get into all that religious stuff again, Jerry."
Jerry: "But astrology IS a religion! It's people trusting in the stars instead of the Son...the Son of God!
Bill: I'm not gonna put my trust in someone I don't know. But Madame Seer has a fortune-telling place right here in town!"
Jerry: "Bill, remember the boss said we have to have all orders filled before noon."
Bill: "Aw, you're doing okay with it."
Jerry: "Thanks a lot." (He keeps working.)
Bill: "Let's see, Virgo, Libra... here it is; Pices! Listen to this, Madame Seer is always right on the money!"
Jerry: "Bill, they're giving the same reading for millions of people! It's impossible! If it's ever right it's just dumb luck."
Bill: "Then today must be my lucky day! Listen: 'You will experience a life-changing event today. Your work will finally be rewarded. Watch for an unexpected door to open."
(A door opens and the Boss, Mr. Boyle, charges in.)
The Boss: (Shouting angrily.) "Bill!
(Bill jumps up, startled and guilty, trashing the newpaper and trying to hide it.)
Bill: "Mr. Boyle!"
The Boss: "Caught you goofing off again! YOU'RE FIRED!"
(If you are using the Supplemental Skit Trax CD, begin Track #35, the standard skitbit close music.)
(Music out: "Skit Bits Music Close" Hint: Play the outro music IMMEDIATELY upon the delivery of the last line for maximum impact! Nothing kills a funny moment faster than a flubbed or delayed musical cue! Have the actors beat it offstage as quickly also, as the music begins.)
END
Listen to a Windows Media file of this program for inspiration!
(Play the Skit Bits music open as the players come onto the stage and take their positions.)
(If you are using the Supplemental Skit Trax CD, begin Track #34, the standard skitbit open music. This CD is available on the site, on the script page for this skit.)
(Two guys are standing at a table packing various items in cardboard boxes. One of them, Bill, after working a few moments, stretches and shakes his hands as if they are tired.)
Bill: "I feel like taking a break. Think I'll see what my horoscope says for today..."
(He picks up a newspaper and sits down to read it.)
Jerry: "You mean horriblescope! Bill, you shouldn't be looking to some superstition to know your future! You should trust the Lord and read His Word!
Bill: "Now, let's not get into all that religious stuff again, Jerry."
Jerry: "But astrology IS a religion! It's people trusting in the stars instead of the Son...the Son of God!
Bill: I'm not gonna put my trust in someone I don't know. But Madame Seer has a fortune-telling place right here in town!"
Jerry: "Bill, remember the boss said we have to have all orders filled before noon."
Bill: "Aw, you're doing okay with it."
Jerry: "Thanks a lot." (He keeps working.)
Bill: "Let's see, Virgo, Libra... here it is; Pices! Listen to this, Madame Seer is always right on the money!"
Jerry: "Bill, they're giving the same reading for millions of people! It's impossible! If it's ever right it's just dumb luck."
Bill: "Then today must be my lucky day! Listen: 'You will experience a life-changing event today. Your work will finally be rewarded. Watch for an unexpected door to open."
(A door opens and the Boss, Mr. Boyle, charges in.)
The Boss: (Shouting angrily.) "Bill!
(Bill jumps up, startled and guilty, trashing the newpaper and trying to hide it.)
Bill: "Mr. Boyle!"
The Boss: "Caught you goofing off again! YOU'RE FIRED!"
(If you are using the Supplemental Skit Trax CD, begin Track #35, the standard skitbit close music.)
(Music out: "Skit Bits Music Close" Hint: Play the outro music IMMEDIATELY upon the delivery of the last line for maximum impact! Nothing kills a funny moment faster than a flubbed or delayed musical cue! Have the actors beat it offstage as quickly also, as the music begins.)
END
This short skit underlines the futility of chasing after predictions, and highlights the way that we influence our destinies by our actions. By loafing on the job, Bill inadvertantly fulfills the generic prediction in a negative way.
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